


To be Loved Again

by DeadBusinessPeople



Category: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Martins past hurts him a lot, Self-Esteem Issues, and he feels like he is unworthy of anyones love, fortunately that changes in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23385304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadBusinessPeople/pseuds/DeadBusinessPeople
Summary: After leaving the daedric cult of Sanguine, Martin thinks no one would ever love him again because of what he's done in his past. He is soon about to be proven wrong.
Relationships: Hero of Kvatch | Champion of Cyrodiil/Martin Septim
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	To be Loved Again

**Author's Note:**

> someone please give Martin a hug, he needs it desperately

When Martin was a young man he was quite handsome and he knew it.

It was a source of pride for him; to be one who made heads turn, who could fluster even the most stoic with a wink and a smile.

It also was one of the reasons why he was so popular among the followers of Sanguine, who would lavish him with praises and throw themselves at him eagerly, and he found that he rather liked all of the attention that they gave him. He would soon built his confidence on how others perceived him.

All was well for a while, and soon he was even sitting on the lap of Sanguine, enjoying the utter decadence he found himself in. He always thought that he would stay there and that nothing would ever go wrong.

What a fool he was.

It would all come unraveled one fateful night, a night that left him scared, humiliated, and broken. It left him begging in the streets for coin, wearing nothing but rags and shaking from the addiction withdrawals that made him feel sick.

It wasn’t until a kind priest of Akatosh came and helped him get his life back together that he able to leave the streets behind. It seemed like he would finally be able to move on.

But after many years passed, Martin still constantly berated himself for being such a foolish young man.

If he hadn’t been so stupid and arrogant and dabbled with things beyond his comprehension then his friends would still be alive. They hadn’t deserved to be punished for his mistakes.

Regret dogged his every step and it hurts so much, some days it is a battle to even get out of bed.

After everything he’s done, he believed that he didn’t deserved to be loved, because who could love a wretched man like him? The scars of his past were far too ugly and deep, no reasonable person could see them and accept him for who he is.

So when he starts to feel flutters in his heart when he is around the hok, he quickly shoves it down and rebukes himself for even feeling it. He is absolutely terrified about the implications of it, is he still being affected by Sanguine's influence? 

Akatosh forbid it, he prays more than he ever has before, wishing the feeling would be taken away from him. The hok does not deserve these ugly hedonistic thoughts being directed towards them, they didn’t deserve someone like him as a friend. They deserved someone who was noble and good, not someone who was tainted like him. 

But overtime the feeling starts to get harder to ignore, and he feels even dirtier by the day. Their way they smile at him whenever he walks into the room is enough to make him melt. They way they laugh makes his heart skip a beat, the way they- 

He shouldn’t be feeling this way around them! After all these years, was he really still so weak? Their friendship means so much to him, they are the first friend that he has had in a long time and to lose them over something so ridiculous would be devastating. 

It isn’t until one day when they bring the Rose of Sanguine to him that he bursts into tears. The hok immediately pulls him into a strong hug and rocks him slowly until he is able to calm down. When he finally calms down, they gently ask what is wrong and he immediately tells them everything: from the day he first heard of Sanguine, to his presence in the cult, to his friends dying, and to the feelings that have been tormenting him for so long. 

They stay silent for a moment and he is expecting to be shunned at, for them to get up and to be utterly repulsed by him and to yell at him for being such a weak minded fool who doesn’t deserve everything that he has now. He waits and waits and…..

It never comes.

Instead they cup his face running their fingers along his cheeks and ever so lovingly they plant a small kiss on his forehead. They tell him how he is a strong and beautiful person and….

They tell him they love him.

At first he doesn’t believe what he is hearing…. they love him? They love the wretched man in worn out priest clothes who has nothing to offer them, it can’t be.

And yet they keep repeating it over and over again, and for the first time in a long time Martin begins to feel loved again.

**Author's Note:**

> had this in my drafts for a while and just decided to post it after a nap


End file.
